NEW Revision Designer Research Report and Presentation

Comment:
We will need to rewrite the first 6 pages of the paper upon professor\’s comments.
We have to only rewrite the parts in yellow
They told me that in first part i didn\’t put in my words , it was taken from book/academic way or something.
The second part was fine it was just describing work of designer and his pictures.
Is it possible to fix somehow first part like less academic way and more like my words, please?
The essay was missing numbers linking to references and also missing table of content with these references and missing footnotes on each page. Also the first half of essay was too formal but according the brief which I sent you it suppose to be written in much like own words.

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