Is the information complete? If not, what is missing?

While the initial study committee has made a skillful and in-depth analysis of the alternative resource mixes as they relate to the proposal in question, the optimal functions as selected by the committee’s thematic projections would suggest a nonaffirmative response if the executive office were forced to make an immediate decision.  In view of the paramount importance of the multifaceted aspects of the proposal, it is my recommendation that a special task force be created with the assigned responsibility of appropriately developing sound administrative options to the proposed implementation decision.  Reliable and tested administrative procedures would enhance the practicality of the proposal and ass to the incremental viability factors essential for the type of creative innovation that functions within established guidelines.


C/ Rewrite the letter so that it is clear, complete, concise, courteous and correct.


Questions to consider:


  1. Is the opening statement clear? If not, how would you change it so that it is clear?
  2. Is the information complete? If not, what is missing?
  3. Are the sentences concise? If not, what words would you eliminate to make them more concise?
  4. Is the message courteous? If not, which sentence would you change?
  5. Is the letter correct (free of grammar, punctuation and spelling errors)? If not, what needs to be corrected?

Dear Mr. Tom Black:


I wish to draw your attention to an up-coming event that we are organizing for the purpose of celabrating the retirement of our Directer of Finance Mr. Melvin Switzer. The event will take place on the 23rd of July and we anticipate your attendence at this function. You are cordially invited to a dinner being held at the Diamond golf and country Club at 6:30. The dinner will be a formal afair so please make sure you ware formal cloths. You can bring your wife if you want.

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